It’s hard to believe that it’s been 10 weeks since I got home from Arizona. (Post coming soon of that journey.) But more importantly I can’t believe it has been 3 years today that this journey came to be increasingly evident. I had many health struggles before this but Oct. 1st marks the day of a headache that never really went away. I was still fairly active until April when I became so weak and in pain that I was basically bed or recliner bound.
I don’t know exactly how to express my thoughts. To be honest the past few weeks have been quite discouraging. My hope was to have seen a lot more progress than we have seen so far. I do not doubt God’s hand in leading us to Envita. I believe that was the next step. And we did see some small improvements. And it’s still possible for long term results will be seen in the future. But for some reason that I don’t know God has seemed to put a wait on healing my body right now. Sometimes we don’t understand why and that’s okay.
This has been one of those times I have really questioned the why. When I express that to my mom, her reply was the thoughts from Paul in the Bible. He had prayed to be delivered from the thorn in the flesh but God told him this….But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” My first response to this was “I need to find something to do.” I haven’t given up hope that we will still find the missing puzzle piece. But I am trying to content with what my Father has in store for me right now. And we knew that this journey wasn’t over when I left Envita and that there would be a long healing process.
I must admit it’s hard. And I struggle with it everyday. I’m still in a lot of pain. Walking is difficult. I don’t sleep well at night along with fevers and swollen, hot knees as well as very much tingling in my hands and feet. Some things have gotten worse the past few weeks while others have just remained the same. I still have seen a few things like the less fatigue at times.
I have been working hard at keeping up with communication with friends which I had been very behind on. I am determined to be a worker for Jesus. To be an encouragement to others especially those who are fellow chronic illness warriors. I’m working on increasing posting more posts on my blog. Simple, easy but encouraging posts that don’t take too much time and energy. I’m also starting to think about Lifeline Gifts more and wanting to find more ways to raise money to be able to buy more supplies. Just doing a few minutes a day on a few of these projects is all I can do right now. Prayer is something I’m trying to be more faithful at. Our world is in such turmoil and we need to pray for our country and people to wake up. I have started a 40+ day prayer challenge with a short post going up everyday with specific prayer requests. To receive these notifications please subscribe with your email address.
The Lord has really been helping my mindset through this time. His answer to heal the pain and my body has been “wait.” But He has been giving Grace to me and helping me be more content with His plan. He’s helping me be more determined than ever to work for Him in whatever way I can even though most times I don’t have the energy or motivation. I praise God. He’s been helping me in other areas as well.
And I wanted to thank you all for being so supportive and encouraging to me. I know things have not turned out like we hoped and that can at times be frustrating for everyone. But I’m thankful that we can know that God has a plan through it all.
I have sent off the more testing that the doctor recommended us to get done to hopefully find the missing pieces the puzzle. So hopefully we should know some more in a few weeks.
Thank you all for your prayers, support and love. It means the world to me. You can subscribe at the bottom of the page to automatically get notified when I post. Blessings on your fall.
It was good to get your update even though it was not what we would have preferred to hear. Your attitude about it all is very refreshing and upbeat. God is certainly helping you in trusting what he is permitting in your life just now. Just keep on holding to his unchanging hand!! Sometime, someday you will understand the why of it all if He wants you to and sees best.
I enjoyed your update, Amaris. Just keep trusting Jesus and taking it one moment at a time!